I can’t actually tell if this is real or not offhand. I assume it’s an article from a facetious journal like The Onion, but the events it describes are well within the current norms. Anyway, let me know when EU countries start offering asylum for US citizens.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents: The Fish

To be fair, I’d probably do the same if I were worried about being mistaken for a turd and flushed.